Tuesday, May 15, 2012

...Not Quitting...Yet

So I have a lot more pictures to post - and by a lot, I mean 8 more.  They take a long time for me to add because most of them are on my phone, and I'm a bit technologically challenged.  And free-time challenged.  And frankly, motivationally challenged.  But at least I'm blogging?  Or rambling, as usual.

And thinking about weight loss.  It's always on my mind, but especially right now.  Sometimes I worry that I will pass my self-image issues onto L.  I remember going on walks with my mom when I was younger.  These issues definitely are rooted in the early parts of my life, for sure.  **I am not blaming my mother for my love handles.  My favorite diet that my parents did when I was in high school was (I think) called the Mayo Clinic diet.  Basically, while they were doing that, we would go to our friendly small town greasy spoon and eat fried chicken until our heart's content.  You see, we could eat as much as we wanted **as long as we had a glass of grapefruit juice before the meal.  Yeah.  I think they missed the boat on that one.  I wonder why it didn't work.  I digress.

Today was just one of those days.  It's like there was something in the air.  The outfit I planned on wearing today (you know, that visualizing you do while in the shower to try to make the rest of the process go more smoothly.  No?  Just me?  Figures.) ended up making me look like I was crammed into a sausage casing.  Not okay.  I ended up bouncing out of it, and I found something more suitable to wear that included the pants I had already ironed for outfit #1.  Bonus.  Then I was stuck behind every slow moving vehicle in the western suburbs on my way to work.  We were out of coffee at home (oops. my fault), so I drove through DD to get a cup.  Days like this definitely require a boost.  It took 9 minutes.  9.  For one cup of coffee.  Are you freaking kidding me?  Everything at work was fine.  Until I walked past a display case, saw my reflection, and realized my (better) outfit made me look about 6 months pregnant.  Sweet.  My teammate dutifully told me that it didn't, but I'm still not convinced.

I totally took last week off.  From exercising.  From caring.  From watching what I was putting in my mouth.  Not true.  I watched every last decadent bite go in.  Teacher Appreciation Week can destroy good intentions.  As can a birthday and all the celebrating that goes with it.  Communion dinners.  Cocktails.  Cinco de Mayo.  Cocktails.  Chocolate Fest.  Cocktails.  Sushi feasts twice.  Cocktails.  Fast food dinners justified by a busy schedule.  Cocktails.  Biscuits and Gravy to recover from said cocktails.  And cocktails.  But this week I'm back.  Or as one of my girls told me - back on track until next Friday when we celebrate again.

I guess there are worse reasons to get off track.  Feeling loved and having lots of friends to celebrate with just might be worth it.  I mean, wouldn't I rather be chubby and surrounded by amazing people than skinny and alone?  And I'm back to justifying pretty much anything.  Funny.  I bet I could have at least posted 1 picture in the time it took me to type this ramble.  Such is.

Monday, May 7, 2012


When I turned the calendar to May, it really made me think about the past year and the amazing path I've been on.  One year ago, my 30th birthday was approaching, and I was saying goodbye to my twenties, doing a dreadful daily commute to get to a job I absolutely loved, and was full of fear and excitement as I was 6 weeks away from meeting my favorite girl in the world.  I knew things were going to change, but not this much!  I've got the new job/two kids/living the life I love thing down.

So it's May.  I'm about to turn 31, and am still working on a lot.  Right now my focus is on my inability to commit.  Wow.  Hmmm...Rephrase.  My focus is on my inability to stick with things/projects that I've started.  For example, the 30 Day Shred.  I LOVE this Jillian Michaels DVD.  I WANT to lose this baby weight - and then some.  I LOVE the feeling of accomplishment after the workout is over.  I even like being sore, as it makes me know that something's working in there.  Unfortunately, I'm so GOOD at making every excuse in the book for why I shouldn't spend the time to do the workout.  Or any workout, for that matter.  Bit as it is, I'm doing so well.  I'm only 4 pounds from my pre-L weight, and only 6 pounds from my pre-H weight.  I'll get there.  Eventually.

Since I'm aware of this tendency I have to quit, I decided to start a new project.  I saw a photo-a-day pin on Pinterest the other day, and decided to give it a shot.  I thought it would give me an outlet.  Something for me that isn't obsessing over myself, worrying about work, or focusing on my kids.  I'm finding that it's not turning out that way.  In fact, just the last 7 pictures are making me realize that these are exactly the things that my photos are focusing on.  Because they're what really matter to me.

So here are the first 7 days.

5.1  Peace - I can't think of anything more peaceful than a beautiful sleeping baby

5.2  Skyline - So it's not "the" skyline, but it's looking out my back door

5.3 Something I wore today - In an effort to feel better and be better...
5.4 Fun - A gorgeous evening at the park
5.5 Bird - There's nothing angry about this bird
5.6 Me - A little time out for me
5.7 Someone That Inspires You - I can't think of a more inspirational scene.
Family dinner.  L's first spaghetti and meatballs. 
Only 24 to go.  Commitment to be determined.