Wednesday, November 28, 2012

...Wedded Bliss

9 Looooooong Amazing, Bliss-Filled Years
And I wouldn't change a minute of it.  

Wedding day:  November 29, 2003
9 Years Later:  October 2012
That's probably a lie.  There are a few things that I would change.  But they're pretty minor and therefore, no big deal.

Our story is a fairy tale romance like so many others.  Boy works in the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble.  Girl gets job at said bookseller and thinks boy is cute.  Boy and girl spend endless hours together brewing coffee for med students and guys who not so secretly take "erotica" books into public washroom, and then cleaning up said washroom when toilets overflow.  Not the most glamourous job.  I digress.  But this fairy tale ends happily.

After nearly four years of dating, we made it official.  After a romantic dinner at none other than the fabulous Benihana, he sat next to me on the couch and said, "Well, Babe.  What do you think?"  After informing him that he would have to actually specify what he was talking about (you see, I had taken the LSAT that day and had that amateur lawyer brain going on), he asked me to marry him.  So I said yes.  Of course.  And tried not to turn into a Bridezilla.  But I might have been.  Since I didn't even know the only 2 people who read this when we got married, no one will even comment to let me know if this is true.  So I'll say that I wasn't one.

I forgot my vows.  On our wedding day.  It was my brilliant idea for us to memorize them, so we could just look into each others' eyes and profess our love.  (22 is such an idealistic age)  When it was his turn, he spoke his vows to me in a loud, clear, sure voice.  And I loved the moment so much.  Still do.  Then it was my turn.  And I just stared at him, smiling - then laughing.  And as I would find out, he began the pattern of picking me up and carrying me through the moments I couldn't handle on my own.

It's pretty amazing.  I really thought I loved him on that day 9 years ago.  I thought that it couldn't get much better than that.  My heart was so full.  And I've never been so thrilled to be so wrong.  We've grown so much over the last 9 years, as individuals, as friends, as partners, and now as a family.

The second time I thought I couldn't love him any more - June 2008 

Well, he did it again - June 2011

I can't help but look forward to what the future holds.  

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

...Getting Dressed - Parent/Teacher Conference Style

So many of my favorite bloggers (and besties) do Outfit of the Day posts, and I always think:

"I could never pull that off!"
(Ashli always looks cute - and check out her great recipes, too)

"What a great way to put those together!"
(Check out what Anne is doing with her green Boden skirt.  So stylish!)

And so on and so forth.

So I decided to try my very own OOTD post:  Getting Dressed.

Take 1: Parent-Teacher Conference style...

Top - LOFT, Pants - Limited, Shoes - Target,
Necklace - gift from Anne, Crutches - EMH ER
Next time I'll clean my room so I can use a mirror that doesn't have H's drawings taped to it.  Maybe.

Monday, November 19, 2012

NOT Obsessing

It's not a secret that my weight is one of my obsessions.  I've blogged about it a bit.  I talk about it a bit. And I think about it pretty much all the time.  My weight has fluctuated my whole life, and I can't ever think of a time when I've felt good about how I look.  Sure, I look AMAZING in a bridesmaid dress with my hair, nails, and lashes did (see here).  But for me it's not about how I look, but how I really feel about me.

After we got married (almost 9 years ago!), I suffered from a case of the happy fat.  Cooking for the hubs, who LOVES to eat well, was one of my favorite past times, and I seemed to lose sight of the fact that eating the same amount of a 6'5", 220 lb guy wouldn't bode well on my 5'4" frame.

Enter Weight Watchers.  I did so well sticking to the program for about 6 months.  And then I quit my law firm job, went back to school to get my teaching certificate and Masters, and started working in an Italian restaurant.  And the weight went back up.

New Years '06 or '07 (can't remember)
Check out my sweet 80s Prom date, Walter
And then the best thing that could ever happen to a weight-obsessed fat girl happened:  I got pregnant.  I did not once consider that every bite I put in my mouth was not just feeding this child, but was also sticking to my thighs, as well.  

36.5 weeks pregnant with H.  Yikes.
64 pounds and 41 weeks later, H was born.  And the obsession began again.  What's ridiculous is that while I obsess about this, I tend to be a bit lazy.  My motivation waxes and wanes, and I generally prefer a delicious meal and cocktails with friends to waking up early and exercising.  I never reached my pre-pregnancy weight - but was only 2 pounds away when I got pregnant again.  Note: It was 2 years later.  This time I did much better and only gained around 45 pounds.
39 weeks - L's birthday
Thanks scheduled c-section for letting me do my hair and make-up before heading to the hospital
It's been 17 months.  I've been working pretty hard - trying to find a balance between delicious food, cocktails, and exercise.  Running is something that I was really beginning to enjoy - especially when I can join my girls.  A few weeks ago, I hit my pre-pregnancy weight with H.  But I wasn't happy with how I looked then, and things are a lot different now.  Funny what those kids do to your body.  
H & L Side-by-Side All the Time
Reminding me that all of this is SOOO unbelievably worth it
And now, I can't exercise.  Or even weigh myself thanks to our fancy scale with the foot sensors.  And I'm trying not to panic.  My brain is full of what-ifs concerning my weight.  So I started planning a fast.  And a cleanse.  And then I remembered that this is not a permanent thing.  I'll bounce back.  Thanksgiving is my favorite.  I need to not worry.  Or go nuts.  Finding a balance won't be easy, but it will all be okay.  Maybe I should be thinking about other things right now.  Like maybe the parent-teacher conferences I'm going to run all day today and tomorrow.  Maybe I should be more concerned with the more important things?

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Blogging Again??

Basically, I'm the worst blogger ever.  Life is busy, and I make excuses.  But if you've read any of what I've ever written, you already know that to be the case.  I've been spending a lot of time sitting on the couch lately, and it's killing me.  So while I'm unable to be productive for my family, I might as well get some blogging done.  I'm hoping this will take my mind off of feeling sorry for myself.

In October, the hubs and I went on a trip to North Carolina for his cousin's wedding.  Having never been there before, I was so excited to make the trip.  That - and I was looking forward to spending time with just B and his brother and sister-in-law.  The trip did not disappoint.  Not only was it an amazing time, but Boone and the surrounding area in mid October was just breathtakingly beautiful.

Beautiful Boone, NC

with B

The best Sister-in-Law a girl could ask for

While doing my thang on the dance floor, I pulled a muscle in calf - or so I thought.  It hurt, but I wasn't about to let a little soreness get in the way of my dance party, so I danced on.  It hurt for a few days.

The following weekend, I went for a run with two of my besties - also known as Team Awesome.  It was a personal distance record for all three of us - 6 miles.  This is a giant accomplishment for me because I'm not really a runner.  More about that later.  Maybe.  They were amazing and helped this mom out by coming to the burbs to run the forest preserve, even though they're both city girls.

Team Awesome at the Lung Run
I don't have a pic of us from this particular day.

It felt amazing.  We didn't listen to music.  We just talked.  About everything under the sun.  3 miles were done in no time and then we turned around and headed back.  At about mile 4, my calf really started bothering me again.  Weirdly, it hurt worse when I walked than when I ran, so I pushed on.  On the girls' advice, I bought some tiger balm (less stinky than bengay or icy hot), iced it, and after a day or two I was fine.

And then came a school assembly.  It wasn't a good one.  But at one point the speakers called out the teachers to get up and dance.  So, I did.  And the kids loved it.  And my calf popped again.

Knowing that I had purchased super cute 3 1/2 inch heels for Anne's wedding just 10 days away, I gave away my bib for the Hot Chocolate 5K.  This was such a hard decision to make.  I knew if I pushed it and tried to run, that I could hurt myself, and standing up in Anne's wedding was WAY more important to me than running next to her in a race - which she totally rocked.  So I responsibly let myself heal.

And then came the wedding.  This could be another post entirely.
With my favorite groomsman before the ceremony

Selfie with the beautiful bride

Everything went off without a hitch.  The bride was gorgeous (obviously ^^), and the groom was sharp as can be.  The ceremony was meaningful and lovely.  Toledo made a surprisingly cool back drop for wedding photos.  The food at the reception was delicious - can you say bacon-wrapped shrimp - and then the dancing began.

The cutest of all the dancers

Middle school dancin' with the groom

And then it happened again - not while performing the sweet moves with the groom, above.  But this time, I was unable to walk at all and in major pain.  The good news is that there were vodka sodas and Yeungling (a delicacy to us Chicagoans) for medication.

The wheelchair obviously didn't get me down
When we got home, B took me to the ER.  They said I had torn a calf muscle, and that I should stay off of it completely for 2 days then start bearing weight again.  If it wasn't better in a week, I should see an orthopedic surgeon.  Alright.  2 days later, I was still unable to bear weight and was in just as much, if not more pain than before.  So I called the orthopedic doc.  For some reason, in my head I thought that I would go in and see him and he'd fit me for a boot of some kind that would make me able to walk again.  Well, that did not happen.  No such magic boot exists.  It is not a muscle tear.  My plantaris tendon is torn.  I have to stay completely off of my leg (not that that's an issue because I still can't be on it anyway) for another 2-3 weeks.  After that, I'll be able to start attempting to walk - but still with crutches.  Then I'll downgrade to walking with one crutch - Tiny Tim style.  The whole reparation process can take 3-6 months.  Sweet.

And this is where I begin to feel sorry for myself.  But not really.  I'm really feeling more sorry for B.  He's already an incredible husband, and I'm not just saying that because he more than likely won't read this anyway.  The man does more than most around the house.  We're a perfect team and have a routine down around here that allows us to be 2 working parents who get it all done and still spend time with the kids and alone.  Now, he's stuck doing everything.  Including taking care of me.

Luckily we have the best friends anyone could ask for who have already helped so much with the kids and meals and grocery shopping.  My sister-in-law is taking over Thanksgiving hosting duties.  These are all things that I do because I WANT to.  Not because I have to.  It's really just hard knowing that I'm unable to do these things and care for my own kids by myself.  This is where my pity party needs to end.  I have to remember that this is not the end of the world.  In the grand scheme of things, there are so many worse things that could be happening in our lives.  Six months from now, I'll look back on these things and laugh.

And when I think about it, if I had it to do all over again, I'd have danced anyway.  It's those moments that truly matter.